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Oh, The Places You'll Go!!!
This is the time of year when countless young people from Livingston County and beyond will begin the next phase of their lives. This may be going away to col­lege or making sure the local college or trade school class schedule works with the job they found for the sum­mer. They cannot always predict the path, but one thing is for sure, they will be starting on their way.

I was recently sitting with a mom at a baby shower, when we began to talk about her daughter who had just graduated from high school. She was sharing with me her daughter’s plans, mapping out her life for her it seemed. She suddenly paused, and made the comment, “I guess she doesn’t have to have it all figured out right now.” I thought to myself, “How true.” Yet as parents, we often believe that if our children do not have a set course, mapped out in detail, they will never suc­ceed or make it on their own.

Back in 1980, when my parents dropped me off at Michigan State University, I could have never predic­ted where my path would lead. I have recently reflected about how lucky I was to have support from my parents, with just a touch of guidance, so that my journey was built on my own dreams and my own decisions for my future. I can remember the day I changed my major. I cannot even tell you when I told my parents. It seemed right for me and fit in with where I wanted to go.

Of course, when I was at MSU, I could only talk to my parents at a designated time each week from a telephone that hung from a wall. The advantage of that mode of communi­cation was that I had to make many decisions totally on my own. I also had the opportunity to experience my life as it unfolded. I knew my parents were there if I needed them, but they had put their trust in me that I could do what I needed to in order to gradu­ate with a degree and the prospect for a career.

The year 1984 just wasn’t a good one for the Tigers. It was also the year I graduated from college, got married and headed off to Jacksonville, Fla., where my husband and I would start our life and careers. At that point, I had not even really driven on a major expressway. I grew up in a small town and just figured I would always live in a small town in Michigan. John Cou­gar even said so in a song.

Thirty years later, having lived in three other states before coming back to Michigan 18 years ago, I was sitting at the graduation party the son of my best friend from high school. I began to think about all the places I had been, all the people who had touched my life and how incredible my jour­ney had been. I also recognized how lucky I had been to have such rich and varied life experiences.

Over those 30-plus years since graduating from high school, I have met so many people along the way who have played a significant role in my life and helped me become who I am, both in my personal and profes­sional life. I have my forever friends, my hockey friends, the people who I met briefly along the way with whom I exchange Christmas cards. Then there are those individuals who gave me those little pearls of wisdom I carry with me in my professional life, like all my teacher friends and Mr. Curth, my ninth-grade biology teacher who taught me what integrity is.

If I had been too scared to venture on beyond the familiar, I would not be who I am today. Whether it was sitting with my husband and our friend Ted in Jacksonville, deciding that if I wanted to join in on the conversation I would need to learn about football and read Sports Illustrated, or by starting my teaching career in an environment that was racially charged and often put me in the middle of a fight. I also would not have had the chance to grow in my professional life by teach­ing in three different states and learn­ing that there is so much culture and beauty beyond the state I grew up in.

As parents, we must let our chil­dren begin their own journey. My parents never sent me on my way with a long list of “what to do’s.” In­stead, they had instilled in me years of confidence to find my way. Can you imagine sending your daughter off to Florida with a hurricane warning at her destination without even one piece of advice?

I was just traveling with my best friend Lisa, my longest friend, and we were headed up north to a conference I was attending. Along the way, I would make comments about differ­ent places, and with each mile could feel the memories coming back. At one stop, I commented about the fam­ily I had met at my favorite up-north spot, Douglas Lake. She could tell how important that place and those people had been to me. Her comment was priceless: “It makes you who you are.”

I have one son living in Lansing, one in Massachusetts and one in Tex­as, each making their own life experi­ences filled with the places and people they will meet along the way. 

Kris Nelson works as a school social worker and prevention specialist in Livingston County. You can reach Nelson at Key Development Center by emailing her at knelson@keycenters.org.

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